Speaking the Languages of Love

“How do we tell someone who has lost language comprehension that we love her?” I asked the worshippers at Bethany, the memory care facility where Linda was a resident for eighteen months.  Beside me stood a resident whose speech has been reduced to incoherent babbling. She looked into my eyes as though longing to speak.

“Hug her,” came a response from a resident who struggles with hallucinations as well as lost and distorted memories.  I  put my arm around her and she embraced me in return.

Looking into her sad eyes and calling her by name, I said, “I love you!”

Suddenly, the sadness in her eyes turned to a sparkle. With a faint smile, she said plainly for all to hear, “I love you!” Babbling turned to the language of love.

It was Pentecost Sunday!  We had been singing such hymns as “O for a Thousand Tongues to Sing,” “Kum bah Yah”, “Surely the Presence of the Lord Is in this Place,” and “There’s a Sweet, Sweet Spirit in this Place.”

We heard the story of Pentecost in Acts 2 where people with different languages and cultures and traditions understood one another. “Tongues of fire” descended on diverse and multi-lingual people and  God’s Spirit created a new community.

Bethany became a new community as the barriers once again crumbled!

Present among the residents were various religious traditions: American Baptist, Assemblies of God, Southern Baptist, Catholic, Episcopal, Holiness, Lutheran, Presbyterian, United Methodist, and Jewish. A few claim no religious affiliation. Some present in the service have forgotten God and no longer remember who Jesus is. Perhaps a few have never consciously known God.

All share a common characteristic: Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia.  They are at various stages in their disease but all are unable to live alone and care for themselves.

“What made it possible for the people present at that Jewish festival to understand one another even though they spoke different languages?’ I asked the worshipers.

“They loved one another,” a resident called out.  A conversation about how love enables us to understand and accept one another followed.

Other languages are present at Bethany. One couple speaks Portuguese. Another’s native tongue is Spanish and another is Italian. A staff member speaks Swahili. A volunteer present for the service knows French and German.

“Let’s learn to say “I love you” in different languages,” I suggested. So, we tried to speak words of love in Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, French, German, and Swahili.  With varying degrees of success, we tried to speak love in multiple languages.

It was during those exchanges that the resident whose language skills have been destroyed by her disease came and stood beside me.  How do we say “I love you” to someone who can’t speak or understand words?

There followed a time of practicing love without words—hugs, handshakes, an open hand, a smile, a pat on the back, a warm smile. Other love languages were mentioned—helping, protecting, encouraging, feeding, bathing, just being with. . .!

They got it! Beneath all our hyper cognitive theological talk and creedal statements is the simple reality that God is LOVE. To love is to know God! Pentecost happens when people express the multiple languages of love!

The worshipers at Bethany are a microcosm of our world! They are black and white and brown. They are Christian, Jewish, and none of the above. Their behaviors are sometimes offensive and difficult. Intellectual abilities vary broadly. For some the filters are gone and they cross boundaries of affection and relationships.  Some have been highly skilled professional people. Others have a background of common labor.

They are just like the rest of us! As I listen to the rancor in our society and churches and the talk about dividing as a denomination, I pray that we learn and practice the languages of love.  One thing that binds us all together: We are God’s beloved children!

Within the embrace and “I love you” from the worshiper at Bethany on Pentecost Sunday was another voice! It was God’s Holy Spirit speaking the language of Greater Love, declaring to us all “I know you by name. I have redeemed you! You are mine!”

We are surrounded by God’s ever-present language of love, and “speaking” that language with one another is our highest calling.

3 thoughts on “Speaking the Languages of Love

  1. Thank you dear friend, for sharing your heart in such a loving and informative way. I will make a copy and send to our leadership here at McKendree Village. It is a masterpiece of God’s love and our ministry. We are so thankful for our time with you years ago. In Jesus’ love,
    Lucy Adams

    Liked by 1 person

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